Incomplete Thoughts

Recently I was listening to one of my favorite Podcasts We Can Do Hard Things with Glennon Doyle. Part of the episode addressed her writing and how to she began her career as a writer. At one point in the conversation Amanda Doyle, mentions that when her sister was first working on the blog, Momastery, Glennon would grant herself one hour of writing, and when that time was up she would hit Publish. When I heard this I felt equal part inspiration, fear, and self-doubt.

“I’m starting to lose faith and interest in that story, the one I tell myself that ‘I’m dumb, and nothing I write or say makes sense.”

I have had this blog for almost a year, I find the actual blogging part terrifying. I am so afraid of my writing. I have spent most of my life feeling like I am constantly searching for the right way to say something. I have dyslexia and didn’t learn to read until I was in 5th grade.

I hid behind self-deprecation. I used to joke that I could talk my way out of jail, but couldn’t write my way out of a paper bag. I’m starting to lose faith and interest in that story, the one I tell myself that ‘I’m dumb, and nothing I write or say makes sense.’ I don’t think that’s true anymore, maybe it never was.

My goal is to show up here more - there will be less polish, less text but more of me. Maybe I will have some exciting Maine discovery to share, maybe I will just rant on about a moment thought caught my attention. I’m going to try and push publish, without so much hesitation and fear around the way I will sound and if I make a mistake, I can always go back and edit.

Becoming yourself never seems to stop, does it?

Love,

Jenny